Today marks six weeks since Sonny died. These six weeks have been both a life and a second in time. Remember when you were pregnant or had a baby? You marked time by days and weeks. In pregnancy this continues until delivery ( I am 41 weeks, when will this baby come?)  After,  it lasts … Continue reading Six Weeks

I am sitting at my desk in my newly rearranged room, contemplating my new life. I actually thought about it a lot even before Sonny died. I asked him what I should do so many times. He wouldn't give me an answer and it hurt.  I couldn't imagine life after he died and the idea … Continue reading Dreams

These last few days have been heavy. Today marks one month since Sonny died. Saturday was our 29th wedding anniversary and Sunday was exactly 4 weeks. Heavy, sad milestones. There have been tears at unexpected times and a lot of crying out to God, asking for strength and a bit of peace. Yesterday I started … Continue reading One Month

You call me out upon the waters the great unknown where feet may fail and there I find you in the mystery In oceans deep my faith will stand The first time we returned to church after Sonny lost his leg Alyssa surprised us by singing this song. Neither Sonny or I had ever heard … Continue reading The Great Unknown

Today I read from James chapter 1. I have found the NLT to be easy to read and understand, so that's what I have been reading lately.  I started like this; Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way consider it an importunity for great joy. Really God ? Hmmm I … Continue reading Faith and Endurance

I had expectations for myself. Don't ask me where I got those expectations, because no one placed them upon me but they were there and they were real. Perhaps I was expecting to react to Sonny's death the way we reacted to bad news. We would get knocked down for a few days and then … Continue reading 17 Days and Counting