After they've gone, this phrase, keeps resonating in my head and when that happens I know its time to write. I think about myself- a widow, an empty nester, a woman, seemingly alone in the world. I think about the other moms out there whose lives have taken the turn towards the same path, a … Continue reading After They’ve Gone
loneliness
Stop. Calm Down and Be Still. A story of past and future rescue.
After Josh graduated from high school our family took a trip to the Outer Banks and allowed he and Alyssa to bring friends. We had our 4 and about 6-7 other kids.. and stayed in the town of Rodanthe. We were out on the beach and the waves were rough. The kids were only in … Continue reading Stop. Calm Down and Be Still. A story of past and future rescue.
What Does a Smile Say?
What does a smile mean to me these days? What did a smile imply during the first long year after Sonny's death? Does it imply to observers that all is good or does it mask the real heart? The truth lies somewhere in between. So many have told me that the second year is worse … Continue reading What Does a Smile Say?
I am a Badass (and other things I have learned during this last year)
I am a badass. I have survived (up to this point) and tried each and every day to do what Sonny did himself and expected us to do. So I thought I'd toot my own horn, for posterities sake and list some of my badass accomplishments of the last 13 months. I have gotten out … Continue reading I am a Badass (and other things I have learned during this last year)
Love Always Leaves a Mark
We are coming up on the anniversary of Sonny's death. In ways, it feels as if it was yesterday and other ways a lifetime ago. I haven't written here for months, I have attempted but not been able to put words on the screen- at least not words that I wanted anyone to read. I … Continue reading Love Always Leaves a Mark
Having Fun with God
These days have been difficult. First, it was Sonny's birthday, then Thanksgiving and now Christmas. I wrote last time about how I falsely believed it would be easy. Frankly, some days it just plain sucks. Those days are, thankfully, spread out and not every day is a bad day. When Sonny's birthday came around, we … Continue reading Having Fun with God
Lean In
I think I can fool myself, spending time trying to convince my brain that this season is just any season. That these days are not important or special and that pushing through will be the best for me. Not so. I was telling my friend, who has also experienced the loss of a husband, that lately, it … Continue reading Lean In
Living a Painfully Beautiful Life
What is it like to be alive, feel alive? Sometimes feeling alive is just plain painful. The moments and experiences are a constant reminder of your life and its unpleasantness. Kinda like a splinter in your foot that you cannot remove, each step is a sharp or dull sensation that reminds you of its presence. … Continue reading Living a Painfully Beautiful Life
Reference Points and the Gift of Loneliness
Loneliness. If there is one word to describe widowhood and life for me right now, that would be it. I know I am not alone in this, so many who have lost loved ones struggle with the aloneness. If you look up synonyms for loneliness these are a few of the words you will find: … Continue reading Reference Points and the Gift of Loneliness