Today’s post is brought to you by frustration.
Yesterday my bank blocked my assess to our accounts and I spent the day trying to get back into it. Then all of the bills that we paid, those in both of our names and in only his also disappeared. It is so stupidly frustrating because we do not get paper copies of 95% of those bills. And I am pretty sure those people still expect to get paid.
I wonder if this is worse because I am a woman. Do widowers have these same struggles? It seems like when I called them to inform them of Sonny’s death, they should have told me this was going to happen.
I get up in the morning, knowing I am going to have to do another day, face the sadness of his absence, see the pain in my family’s eyes and still try and accomplish this ever growing list of stuff to do. I think ” I can do this” , then something happens that erases some part of my past existence. I have to fill out a form and the only 2 choices are married or single. Where do I suddenly belong? I am not a single woman, I am bound to this man through a lifetime of things done together. I am not a single woman because I am bound to him through our children, our grandchildren, his parents and sister and brother.
It really does feel like I am slowly being erased. That elephant sits heavy on my chest this morning.
And I would love to break something .
Momma T's Place 
Put on some safety glasses, grab one of those big sticks in your yard that Charlie was playing with on Saturday, and beat the hell out of some inanimate object. God feels your frustration and it’s ok to let it out. Your words on this blog are also a great tool. Praying that God clears these administrative hurdles.
LikeLike
Wish I could do something to help! If you ever want to head to the mountains for a few days just to get away….I would love to have you stay here! We could get outside for some fresh air and…..maybe we could find something to break! Love, Melinda
LikeLike
So Sorry Theresa. I cannot imagine the struggle. I do know that out God promises to NEVER leave us or forsake us and when these mountains need to be moved, all we need to do is command them to move, knowing that He is fully capable of doing so.
Go into the bank personally. Ask to talk with the manager. ask them to walk through the process with you. You should not have to figure all this stuff out on your own. They can dismiss you easily on the phone-not so much in person. Take one of the boys with you if you have to. Tackle one day at a time. You can do this. You have an incredibly strong faith and family. He is carrying you through this time and will see you through it all the way.
Praying for you all.
Much Love.
LikeLike
You are so loved… my heart aches for everything your family is going through, however, we are all bolstered by your amazing strength. I love that you choose to live each day because you promised Sonny you would. I know it can’t be easy and I know while we all see strength, inside you must feel as though you’re falling apart. Know that it is OK to fall apart and we will love you the same. I know there will be days that are better than others and each day will be a new piece of the journey. Just know you are never alone. ❤
LikeLike