I spent a few days in the NC mountains where my family is from and where I spend the majority of my growing up years. I stayed in cabin right on the Cane River and  I could hear the river  and the strangest sounding frogs (seriously) at night. At first I thought they were ducks….but I was informed otherwise.

Anyway the trip was a gift from my mother for all of our little family so we could get away, rest and perhaps find peace. The kids came and went. I did spend some time alone and some time with a dear friend from college, we had not seen each other for 30 years! (I am thankful for Facebook because it allows you to find all those long -lost people who are special to you.)

One day I was feeling inspired and decided to go out and take photos during the “magic hour” near sunset but to my chagrin, it started pouring. I thought all was lost but when it started to just spatter and drizzle my Aunt Faye said she would drive me around  and show me some special places so I could take photos. 

The light was so pretty and I wanted to capture the moment.

 

We were ambling down the road in my aunt’s little Subaru and there it was!

 

You see, I love rainbows ( who doesn’t?), I always have. Once early in Sonny’s diagnosis we were preparing for a visit for the every three month CT Scans. I dreaded those because the doctors had no idea what they were doing ( not their fault, rare cancer) and they spoke in statistics and (literally) drew graphs and threw figures at us. I truly hated it. We were waiting for the inevitable lung tumors to appear, because they told us that is where this cancer usually would go.

I had taken the kids to youth group and was sitting in the van, crying. I asked God for a sign that it was going to be ok. Not for no cancer, just that we were going to be ok, you understand? I was desperate for an affirmation of God’s care and providence.

I cried, prayed as best as I could and turned  the car toward the road out of the church and there is was.  Honestly it was the most brilliant beautiful rainbow I have ever seen. I knew it was there for me. Yes,  I am sure it was for others as well, but that is the amazing way God works, we all get to be special. Unfortunately, this was before cell phones and cameras in your pocket, so it is just an extraordinary memory.

The truth is I have no idea how that appointment went the next day, I do not remember.  Maybe it was the day they saw tumors in his lungs or the day the cancer went to his lymph nodes ( it never goes there, they said) and it doesn’t matter. What I do remember is the encouragement both Sonny and I got from the rainbow. I recently found one of his old journals and read about that incident there. He titled the entry ” A Journey through Life’s Struggles with an Eternal Perspective.”  

Having an eternal perspective is so difficult. Sometimes it is near impossible because the day to day crap is just too much. It can be hard to see past lunch, much less into eternity. Except….except,  there are rainbows to point us toward eternity. It might not be an actual rainbow, perhaps a song on the radio, a word from a friend, or any number of other ways the God uses to communicate with us. He cares. He loves us deeply and completely, me and you. We just have to use our senses, listen, look  and feel Him. When we seek Him we will find Him. Sometimes when we cannot or will not seek, He finds us. For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who were lost (Luke 19:10).

So this rainbow was my gift. In a way I imagined Sonny smiling down and saying, I love you and God has this gift of hope for you. He knew how excited I would get whenever I would see a rainbow. I knew/ I know this is going to be ok. I despise this road that I am on, yet because God walks it with me, I l know it will only strengthen me. I know it will mke me more like Him and help me to love more deeply. Where HE is, there is hope.