I would like this blog to reflect many different thing even though right now my life is in a state of transition and heartache. So today I thought I would mix it up a little and write about something I get asked about often, perhaps 2-3 times a week, my silver hair. Why did I decide to go gray or as a dear friend once said, antique blonde?

We live in a society where it is ok for a man to go grey, we call them rugged, suave, sophisticated, and fashionable. Women, not so much…they say it makes you look old and dowdy, it  drains all the color from your face, and speak the often used adjective, frumpy. Fortunately young women and fashion designers thought differently and they started bleaching and toning their hair grey and and calling it granny hair. I started seeing it all over the web and I thought it was beautiful! I wondered to myself about my own hair, what if???

I was having to color my hair at least monthly and had root regrowth after 2 weeks. My hair grows fast and was dark so my roots appeared quickly. I was also allergic to hair color and my scalp would itch like crazy for at least 1-2 weeks after a treatment. So after Christmas 2013 I decided with the help of my stylist ( my lovely Alyssa) to go for it. We discussed the options, going cold turkey or removing the color from my hair and toning it. My hair was super processed and dry so we decided to cut it first, then proceed with the next step. which for me was going to be removing the color and toning.

I do not have a photo of the first step. I was mortified! I cried and thought what in the world had I done to myself?!?  Bleaching my hair had done even more damage to it but now there was no turning back and even if I had  wanted, Alyssa would not. She made me press on. She toned it and (maybe?) trimmed it up and I waited….

Around this same time I started to have a strange rash that appeared. At first it was just irritating but it never went away and by May, I was covered in an itchy blistery rash. After months, many rounds of steroids and enough allergy medicine to knock an ox out it was discovered to be gluten. I still struggle with this, even the minutest contamination sends me not a 6-8 week bout with a rash that steroids only lessen, not remove. Some day I might write about my  necessary road to a gluten free lifestyle . Hair dye has gluten in it so that was now out of the picture ( some hair dye is gluten free ). I have often wondered if the horrible itch I put myself through every 4-6 weeks was the catalyst for my gluten problem.

We cut it and cut it as time went along , to get rid of the dry damaged hair and allow the natural color to start to come through. People who knew me would look and I could see the thoughts going through their minds. Some people have glass faces.  It was quite short, which actually was harder for me to deal with. Alyssa does a great job though and did her best to give me cute styles.

 

It seemed to take forever for me to get any length, by the fall of 2014, it was at least not a pixie and I was starting to see the natural color peeping through.

 

By summer /fall of 2015 I was starting to get my length back and was happy with the color. I thought ( by my root regrowth) that I would be mostly white-haired. but it is very much a salt and pepper mix. More salt on the top and more pepper in the back.

Honestly, there are very few pictures of me during this time. I was really struggling with my appearance on several levels. The grey hair, my weight and a general dislike for myself kept me away from the camera. I realize that is not a good way to feel, but that is the way it was. I learned along the way to accept myself for who I am and have slowly been learning to love myself. Ladies, that is so important! We are to love ourselves. Have you ever heard the commandment love your neighbor as yourself? We focus on the loving our neighbor, but not on the ourselves part. I believe we are deeply loved by God, apart from our physical bodies, and when we realize our worth we are a fee to love and accept ourselves. This body is only a vessel for who we are, we should care for it but not make it the sole weight in our opinion of our value. Too often, we women look at ourselves in the mirror and make a value judgement based on what WE see.

So what have I learned and what great knowledge can I impart to other women who are considering letting their hair go natural?

1-  It was a long hard process. I didn’t want the stripe so I would not change the way I did it. I would still bleach and tone. Now there are ways to do it with less damage. Note I said less damage, this way will damage your hair. Choose your poison. It takes time but it was so worth it to me.

2-  You really have no idea what your color will be until you grow it out. My hair in the back is still mostly dark brown. I have a lot of (free) natural lowlights and highlights.

3-   I do not feel older.  I was worried I would look and feel really old. I am 52 and I am happy to be this age. I personally don’t care if I look 52. I don’t need to look 25 any longer. I love who I am. I also do not believe that it makes my face look older. I feel that it compliments my skin and looks more natural.

4-  It is not more coarse, wiry or frizzy. It is my same hair, only grey, dark brown and silver. My hair is naturally curly and without processing it has curled better and is more healthy that it has been for years. Plus, it’s so easy to care for. Use a purple shampoo once every week or two, not too often ( think blue-haired lady) and it will make it shine and take the brassiness away. I use one from AG, it is gluten free.

5-  Wear you hair any way you want. I was told so often that grey hair is fine but for heaven’s sake, don’t wear it long! That’s just plain wrong. Wear it long, short, straight or curly.  Be yourself! We do not have to look or dress a certain way because we are older women, we can still be stylish and beautiful as we age. Rock your look and make a statement that says you do not care what anyone says or thinks about you.

I truly love my hair.  I like it long and I plan to keep it long. I feel lovely and happy with myself  for the first time in years. It’s not just the hair that has accomplished that, first it was an understanding of my value. Love yourself, love others, and most importantly love God.  You and I  are of great value to Him.

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